Five Nights of "Go Away!"

Apparently a new horror game came out in August, and references to it have been appearing in my social media feeds ever since. Perhaps you've heard of Five Nights at Freddy's? I wish I hadn't.

I actually have watched someone play the game, and frankly, it shouldn't be as scary as it is. But it plays on a particular fear of mine that I cannot seem to shake even though I know it is completely irrational.

I cannot stand animatronics. They absolutely terrify me.

My first personal memory was of my grandmother's crawling baby doll. That thing was just plain creepy. Inanimate objects are not supposed to move like that.

Then there were the characters at Chuck E. Cheese's. Yeah...the very chain that apparently inspired the nightmare that has been intruding on my normally horror-free media feeds. What made Chuck E. Cheese's worse for me as a child was the fact that occasionally someone would dress up as the giant mouse himself and greet the children. You think I had issues with him just up on the stage? One time my sister and I hid under the table when we saw him approaching, and had to be coaxed back out after he was gone.

This has presented some opportunities for my peers to mock me at theme parks. "It's a Small World" is still horrifying to me, even after the update. But back when it was looking a bit shabby...that was worse. If you've ever been to Six Flags Over Georgia, you'll find "Monster Mansion," a delightful little ride full of brightly colored animatronics that hopefully stay where they belong while you go past in your little boat. Then it takes a scary turn. You know, you go into the dark, and the music goes into a minor key and things are lit spookily? At least, I assume that's what it looks like. My fear of the animatronics means I've never actually seen that part of the ride.

My method of coping with rides involving animatronics has been to close my eyes tight, plug my ears with my fingers, and hum "Kumbaya." It works for me.

I honestly do not know where I got this fear from. Other fears, I can think of instances in my life that spawned the irrational behavior, but not this one. I've had it for as long as I can remember, and it is not doing away.

I usually avoid the horror genre as a whole. I have an over-active imagination that doesn't need help in producing nightmares for me. I could do a whole lot better without Five Nights at Freddy's in my life, though. Seriously, it needs to die.

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Adulting

Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm just pretending to be an adult. Then the baby screams and shatters that fantasy.

I think my first clue that I was irrevocably an adult was when I noticed that I was eating oatmeal for breakfast almost every morning for a couple of months. It should be noted that I hated oatmeal as a child and refused to so much as touch it. Almost all of my childhood food aversions have actually become foods I love. Except liver, that stuff is nasty. 

I've always been the type that was only as mature and responsible as I had to be. If I could get away with goofing off, I would. When there was work to be done, that was fine, too. My dad somehow didn't pick up on this trait, and really worried about me when I moved out on my own. Mom, on the other hand, laughed and told him that I would be fine. And I was.

I never was in a hurry to grow up as a child. It just happened naturally and one day I'm eating oatmeal while working on the budget with Baby playing in the floor. What's more, I like the oatmeal, budgets, and my baby. Even if it does mean that I don't get uninterrupted sleep anymore.

Sometimes I do miss the time in my life when the thing I worried over the most was a chemistry test, but I wouldn't return to it now for anything. I'm sure not searching for the receipt to return my little son, moon, and stars. I'll take adulthood as it comes, and let my children take it naturally, too. 

When I'm old and gray, though, I'm looking forward to scandalizing my grandchildren by blowing my straw wrappers at them.